Book Review: 30 Lessons for Loving By Karl Pillemer, Phd

30 LESSONS FOR LOVING
Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage

By: Karl Pillemer, PhD

Published: January 8, 2015

Publisher: Hudson Street Press

Non-Fiction

So many marriage advice books come from one couple writing the book based on their experiences, their mishaps, and their faith.  But, it's just their perspective. This one gathers advice from couples and individuals who have been happily married for years, those who have been married for years not so happily, those whom are divorced, those with regrets, and those who married and never wanted anything more. You see all sides of marriage from good to bad and everything in between. Pillemer has interviewed hundreds of people and compiled their advice into five basic lessons for those looking for love, those thinking about marriage, and those who are wanting to stay married. Advice from those married just a few years to those married 70-plus years make this a comprehensive advice book for everyone.

After Pillemer wrote 30 LESSONS FOR LIVING, readers were asking for more advice related to marriage. Not only how to live a life without regrets, but have a long, rewarding marriage without regrets. He wanted this book to be different from other marriage manuals, sharing real experiences, regrets, mistakes, and joy. Everyone he interviewed was sixty-five or older, but not everyone had been in a life-long marriage.  Many were divorced, even multiple times, many were now widowed, but also many were still married and very happily at that.

Pillemer covered all areas of dating, love, marriage, parenting, crisis, and growing old together in his interviews. Each chapter focuses on one lesson and the advice pertaining to that lesson, for example in "Lessons for Finding a Mate", interviewees were in agreement with following that gut feeling. If you feel like something isn't right, seems off, or you have doubts, don't get married! Some wished they had followed that gut feeling and others were thankful that they had.

Most marriages will suffer through some type of crisis together...a death of a parent, job loss, or illness. One chapter is devoted to marriage being hard and how to get through those hard parts. One woman reminded readers to see beyond the wedding. It's just one day and will be blissfully happy, but you have to see beyond that to the dirty laundry, stack of dishes, crying babies, long hours, etc. Another interviewee encouraged married couples to make sure they are spending time with others who are positive. Hanging around couples with successful marriages does rub off on your marriage. Spend less time with those who are negative toward their spouse.

Overall, marriage can be an amazing experience if you find the perfect friend to share it with. Someone who is willing to work as hard as you are. If both of you wake up each morning, saying to yourself, "how can I make his/her day better?", then you will find happiness and respect in your marriage.  I appreciated all the great stories (happy and not so happy) and am sure the author had an enjoyable time visiting with all these great folks, hearing their stories, reminiscing with them, and feeling the love between the couples.

Karl Pillemer, PhD - source

Karl Pillemer, Ph.D., is one of America's foremost gerontologists and family sociologists. He is a professor of human development at Cornell University. He founded the Marriage Advice Project, which surveyed hundreds of older Americans on their advice on love and marriage. He is the author of a number of books, including 30 LESSONS FOR LIVING: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans and 30 LESSONS FOR LOVING: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage. 

For more information, check out the following:

Website: http://marriagelegacy.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lessonsforliving?ref=br_tf
Twitter: https://twitter.com/karlpillemer
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/33684.Karl_Pillemer

To purchase a copy of this book, click the photo below:

Thanks to the publisher for sending a copy of this book for the purpose of this review. This review is my honest opinion. I was not compensated in any way for this review. If you choose to purchase the book through the above link, I may receive a small commission without you having to pay a cent more for your purchase. Thanks for supporting SincerelyStacie.com reviews. 

Book Spotlight: Women Living Well By Courtney Joseph

WOMEN LIVING WELL
Find Your Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids, and Your Home

By:  Courtney Joseph

Published: October 1, 2013

I've been fortunate to be a reader of Courtney's blog WOMEN LIVING WELL for quite some time.  She has given me support, encouragement, and advice all without knowing me or my circumstances.  When she let us know about her new book, I knew I wanted to read it.  

Today is the day WOMEN LIVING WELL goes on sale and even though I haven't finished it, I wanted to tell you about it.  Life has been more hectic than I imagined and reading has had to take a back burner to other commitments.  Stay tuned to a review coming soon!

Courtney Joseph has written WOMEN LIVING WELL because she knows that women desire to live well. However, living well in this modern world is a challenge. The pace of life, along with the new front porch of social media, has changed the landscape of our lives.Women have been told for far too long that being on the go and accumulating more things will make their lives full. As a result, we grasp for the wrong things in life and come up empty.

God created us to walk with him; to know him and to be loved by him. He is our living well and when we drink from the water he continually provides, it will change us. Our marriages, our parenting, and our homemaking will be transformed. 

In WOMEN LIVING WELL, Courtney tackles the challenges of holding onto vintage values in a modern world, starting with the keys to protecting our walk with God. No subject is off-limits as she moves on to marriage, parenting, and household management.

Rooted in the Bible, her practical approach includes tons of tips that are perfect for busy moms of our generation.  WOMEN LIVING WELL will guide you in the process of fostering your faith, building your marriage, training your children (not matter what age) and creating a haven for your family. I have no doubt you will take away many truths and convictions after reading Courtney's words.



For more on Courtney Joseph and her website, visit www.WOMENLIVINGWELL.org, or "Like" her on FACEBOOK or follow her on TWITTER.

WOMEN LIVING WELL, is available today as a Kindle eBook or paperback.  

Love At First Chat....er....Sight

Fifteen years ago, I was working from home on my computer.  I was entering data into a program to keep track of statistics at the homeless shelter I was running.  Over the course of the day, I had gotten several "instant message" requests from strangers wanting to chat on AOL.  Keep in mind, this was 15 years ago...when computer chatting was pretty new.  I wasn't interested in chatting with strangers as I was working and just didn't commonly strike up conversations with someone I didn't know online.  Until.....

I got this instant chat from someone that said, "Hello from the NW side".  At that point I was living in a city that divided itself into quadrants...NW, NE, SW, SE.  At that time I was living on the NE side.  I don't know what possessed me...maybe I needed a break...maybe I liked the original greeting....maybe because I knew the person was from the same town...I said "Hello" back.  From there a chat ensued and continued  off and on through the next several days on the computer.

Finally, I had asked him to meet up with some friends at a bar....hoping I could get a peek at this guy I had been talking to.  But, he didn't show.  I was bummed and then found out...he was in a car accident....really...for real.  He really was in a car accident.  It was even in the newspaper.  

But, because that car accident was in the newspaper, I was able at that point, to get his address.  So, I did a little investigating.  Because of my job at the time, I could look up people's criminal records and backgrounds.  It wasn't as easy then as it is now.  Anyway, I took the opportunity to check out his records and do a "drive by" of his place.  Would you believe he lived just a few houses away from my best friend's dad???

After finding out he didn't have a criminal record, lived in a decent house, and really worked where he said he worked....our conversations moved from the computer to the phone.  We spent many nights on the phone solving the world's problems and learning about each other.

Finally, in the wee hours of March 28, 1998, after nearly a 3 hour conversation, I suggested we meet.  So, I offered to go to his house.  I KNOW YOU ARE PROBABLY SCREAMING AT ME RIGHT NOW! You should NEVER go to a strange man's house in the middle of the night without ANYONE knowing where you are going!  Well, I did.  I remember I was shaking like a leaf.  I remember taking the exit off the interstate and saying out loud....What are you doing????  I pulled in his driveway and said a little prayer that I hadn't made the stupidest decision of my life and got out of the car.

When Pat opened the door, I breathed a huge sigh of relief.  He was sooooo cute.  He was "normal".  He even had 2 cats.  We stayed up all night talking and he made me breakfast.  I left to go home and sleep and came back later.  Truthfully, I think we were together every day after that night.  

By May I had taken him home to meet my family.  By August 1, 1998, we were engaged.  

This is us before Pat's brother's wedding in August 1998.  Oh how young we look.

We decided it would be fun to be married exactly 365 days after we officially "met". So, we got married March 27, 1999.  It was a beautiful, spring day.  The sun was shining, the breeze was blowing, and the flowers were blooming. Our siblings, family, and friends all stood up with us and shared in our special day.  It was such a blessing to have Pat's dad with us as he was only with us 5 more months.  Some of those photos from that day are some of the last that we have with him.  I just remember being blissfully happy that day.  We had SO. MUCH. FUN.  The reception was a blast and I remember thinking that I didn't want the night to end.  

And now....here we are....15 years after meeting, 14 years after our wedding day....living life to the fullest.  We are blessed with 3 amazing children who keep us laughing, running, and in awe of their talents nearly every day.

I can't tell you how grateful I am that HE said "Hello" and I said "Hello" back.  It truly was "meant to be".

Discount Code for 31 Days to Build A Better Spouse by Ashley Pichea

Back in August of 2011 I reviewed a new book called 31 DAYS TO BUILD A BETTER SPOUSE by Ashley Pichea.  I read it each day for a month and really tried to focus my efforts on the lessons I was learning along with praying more for my husband.  To read my review, click HERE.

If your resolution for 2013 is to improve your marriage or your relationship with your spouse, this is the book for you.

Click here to visit Ashley Pichea.

During the month of January, Pichea is offering a discount for 50% off of the regular $4.99 price!  By entering JAN2013 on the PDF version of the book, you can read this for just 8 cents a day!  Isn't your marriage worth that??!!??

Click here to visit Ashley Pichea.

Click on the link above, click on the 31 DAYS TO BUILD A BETTER SPOUSE image and then choose PDF for the 50% discount or pay $4.99 for the Kindle version.  

For more on Ashley Pichea, check out her blogs HERE.

As an affiliate, I may receive a commission for purchases made from the above links.